Does anyone remember those plastic dolls that you could click on changes of clothing? I think they were called Click-its or Snap-its or something to that effect.
Well that's how I feel about the holidays, snap on the festive face and get-er-done.
I love the trees, the decorations, the food and especially the music. I could listen to Bing Crosby sing White Christmas all. day. long. I could roast chestnuts in the fire place every night with a smile on my face.
You're sensing a but right? Here is comes...
But...I hate the family drama and the guilt that comes along with it.
Thanksgiving this year was AWESOME. It was me, the Kid, the BF, my mom, dad**, grams and my uncle.
Nobody was late for dinner (hate that), no one drank to much (hate that as well), no one opened their mouth to complain about shit that happened 15 years ago (really hate that). It was just what a holiday is supposed to be.
Christmas on the other hand has always been a bone of contention in my family. At least with me. There's guilt for not going to holiday get-togethers and then if you go there's more guilt for not seeing them during the year. Maybe if they stopped the guilt I'd want to see everyone more.
Or maybe, after 24 years, my father's family could shut-the-hell-up about my parents getting divorced. Christ! Let it go! Honestly, my step-mom deserves a medal and is a freaking saint for putting up with my father all these years, he's not that much of a prize.
This year the Kid is spending Christmas week with his dad, since he and I went to Disney last year for Christmas, so I told the Boyfriend that if he loved me AT ALL he would come up with some kind of family Christmas party, on his side, that we HAD to go too. Thus making me unavailable for the guilt laden Christmas Eve I'm sure to find at home.
Seriously, I moved an hour away for a reason.
Mom, Dad. We're having dinner at my place...bring grandma and the cookies.
Love,
Frannie.
**for the sake of clarity...dad is my step-dad.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
A retail perspective - yeah it applies to you too
A few weeks ago I got a part time job, part of that job involves cashiering.
Since staring this job I've learned that holiday shoppers are not happy people. Those festive commercials you see on tv of happy shoppers gleefully picking out presents? It's a load of CRAP! Holiday shoppers are miserable, cranky, MESSY people.
I will never again:
-tap my foot with impatience because the line is backed up. - We want the line to move efficiently too, but when a customer, you, asks us for something that requires a managers approval or we are unfamiliar with your request, we're going to need help. Bear with us and we'll make your transaction go as fast as possible.
-feel annoyed when the cashier asks me 62 questions. - Trust me. They don't want to know if you found everything, if you want a store credit card or even if you've remembered to use your rewards card, coupon, blah, blah blah. They're just trying to spit out everything that they're required to say without sounding like a robot.
-swipe my credit card too soon. - This one can really get you into a pickle. I watched a woman at the register next to mine who was so impatient to get out of the store with her gift cards and such that she swiped her card before the cashier was finished and he couldn't give her the bonus gift card she'd earned. It took a manager 20 minutes to sort it out. She would have been in and out in 5 minutes if she'd let him do his job.
-leave trash in an aisle. - Not that I do this personally but you'd be surprised at the number of people who will leave their empty coffee cups, food wrappers and general trash on the book shelves. Seriously? Are you too lazy to walk to a trash can?
-dump items any old place because I'm too lazy to put them back. - I don't do this one either, mostly because I have kids and I know what it's like to pick up after people, but again you'd be surprised at the number of people who will decide not to buy something and just shove it in a stack as they walk by. If you're a mother who tells your kid to put back an item where they found it because they're not getting it, I will most likely kiss you for saving me the trip around the store to figure out where the item goes.
It took me awhile to get it but I think a little perspective is in order. The next time you venture out to a store keep in mind that the person behind the counter, most likely making minimum wage, who has been on their feet for the last 4 hours, is not your servant. They'll gladly go the extra mile for you if you have a small amount of patience and smidgen of understanding.
So, to the man who didn't take my head off when I couldn't find his copy of The Economist, which he has bought faithfully every week from our store for more years than I can count, I've put one behind the register just for you so when you come in Monday night, as you always do, I'll have one for you.
Since staring this job I've learned that holiday shoppers are not happy people. Those festive commercials you see on tv of happy shoppers gleefully picking out presents? It's a load of CRAP! Holiday shoppers are miserable, cranky, MESSY people.
Because of said job I now have a new found respect for all things retail and I have come to a few shocking realizations.
I will never again:
-tap my foot with impatience because the line is backed up. - We want the line to move efficiently too, but when a customer, you, asks us for something that requires a managers approval or we are unfamiliar with your request, we're going to need help. Bear with us and we'll make your transaction go as fast as possible.
-feel annoyed when the cashier asks me 62 questions. - Trust me. They don't want to know if you found everything, if you want a store credit card or even if you've remembered to use your rewards card, coupon, blah, blah blah. They're just trying to spit out everything that they're required to say without sounding like a robot.
-swipe my credit card too soon. - This one can really get you into a pickle. I watched a woman at the register next to mine who was so impatient to get out of the store with her gift cards and such that she swiped her card before the cashier was finished and he couldn't give her the bonus gift card she'd earned. It took a manager 20 minutes to sort it out. She would have been in and out in 5 minutes if she'd let him do his job.
-leave trash in an aisle. - Not that I do this personally but you'd be surprised at the number of people who will leave their empty coffee cups, food wrappers and general trash on the book shelves. Seriously? Are you too lazy to walk to a trash can?
-dump items any old place because I'm too lazy to put them back. - I don't do this one either, mostly because I have kids and I know what it's like to pick up after people, but again you'd be surprised at the number of people who will decide not to buy something and just shove it in a stack as they walk by. If you're a mother who tells your kid to put back an item where they found it because they're not getting it, I will most likely kiss you for saving me the trip around the store to figure out where the item goes.
It took me awhile to get it but I think a little perspective is in order. The next time you venture out to a store keep in mind that the person behind the counter, most likely making minimum wage, who has been on their feet for the last 4 hours, is not your servant. They'll gladly go the extra mile for you if you have a small amount of patience and smidgen of understanding.
So, to the man who didn't take my head off when I couldn't find his copy of The Economist, which he has bought faithfully every week from our store for more years than I can count, I've put one behind the register just for you so when you come in Monday night, as you always do, I'll have one for you.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Another reason to hate going to the doctor
Oh happy day! I am back at work.
Yeah, I never thought I'd say that either but I've been so sick the past few weeks that when I finally dragged myself to the doctor Monday, she put me on three days of forced bed rest. In her defense I couldn't speak at all.
I had an official note and everything.
No working, no house work, no cooking, no talking...NOTHING! Especially the no talking.
Did I mention that I was contagious? No? Well, I was, so not only did I have to stay home, I had to stay away from everyone too. Talk about exile.
Since my illnesses were viral she couldn't give me anything except an inhaler to help me breathe better and heavy duty cough syrup.
She told me that if I insisted on talking she'd make it 5 days instead of 3. Fantastic!
Honestly, I didn't think I could shut my yap for 3 days.
I know plenty of people wish for three days at home to sit on their butt, but when someone tells you, you HAVE to do it, it sucks all the fun out of it and you're bored in about 20 minutes.
By Tuesday afternoon I think my insanity had infected the Kid because this was our pseudo conversation before school. Imagine all of my parts sounding like a hoarse whisper:
Me (looking into The Kid's room): Are you ready for school?
The Kid: I need to put on my tie.
Me (leaves room): K.
The Kid (still in his room): What is wrong with you? I'm going to be late.
Me (walking back to his room): *gesture questioning who he's talking too*
The Kid: I need a decent knot and it's not working.
Me: *blinks*
The Kid: What?! I talk to my tie! So?!
I think he's been hitting my cough syrup.
Yeah, I never thought I'd say that either but I've been so sick the past few weeks that when I finally dragged myself to the doctor Monday, she put me on three days of forced bed rest. In her defense I couldn't speak at all.
I had an official note and everything.
No working, no house work, no cooking, no talking...NOTHING! Especially the no talking.
Did I mention that I was contagious? No? Well, I was, so not only did I have to stay home, I had to stay away from everyone too. Talk about exile.
Since my illnesses were viral she couldn't give me anything except an inhaler to help me breathe better and heavy duty cough syrup.
She told me that if I insisted on talking she'd make it 5 days instead of 3. Fantastic!
Honestly, I didn't think I could shut my yap for 3 days.
I know plenty of people wish for three days at home to sit on their butt, but when someone tells you, you HAVE to do it, it sucks all the fun out of it and you're bored in about 20 minutes.
By Tuesday afternoon I think my insanity had infected the Kid because this was our pseudo conversation before school. Imagine all of my parts sounding like a hoarse whisper:
Me (looking into The Kid's room): Are you ready for school?
The Kid: I need to put on my tie.
Me (leaves room): K.
The Kid (still in his room): What is wrong with you? I'm going to be late.
Me (walking back to his room): *gesture questioning who he's talking too*
The Kid: I need a decent knot and it's not working.
Me: *blinks*
The Kid: What?! I talk to my tie! So?!
I think he's been hitting my cough syrup.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Marble-Mocha-Macchiato would be MMM
I don't blog about my 9-5 job, mostly because I'd like to keep it. That and I'm not entirely stoooopid.
Recently I decided that since the feds had graced me with a ridiculously low rate for my yet to be paid for student loans, all I needed was a little extra dough to push me on my way to financial freedom.
Or at the very least it would release me from the shackles slapped onto me by the federal government while I was in pursuit of a higher education. They neglect to tell you when you graduate from college that along with your shiny new diploma you'll be receiving ankle irons reminiscent of Marley's Ghost. *Clink-clink*
Oh I'm sure it's in the fine print somewhere but let's face it, you're 18 and worried about having to do your own laundry without turning it all pink.
I don't know about anyone else but I'm certain that I didn't have paying back a crap-load of money in four years on my mind when I was signing my life away. *Clink-clink*
All this brings us to this week where I decided I was going to get a part-time job. It's seasonal really. Apparently there's a difference in the retail world, provided it takes a sizable chunk out of what's left of my student loan, they can call it whatever they want.
I've never worked in retail nor have I ever worked in food service, of any kind.
I should stress that. NEVER.
But I'm smart. College educated even. *Clink-clink* I can learn.
I always told myself that if I were going to get another job I'd want to work in a book store. I think a shoe store would have way to much temptation. The books are a close second.
Soooo...Barnes & Noble here I come.
I have to say that all of those long hours spent perusing the aisles has made me an expert at the info desk. I even surprised myself. I'm not even into Women's Studies but I knew where the section was.
The computer system was fairly easy to learn as it is almost identical to their website and we're not even going to talk about how many hours I've spent roaming those halls.
I won't say that cashiering is a snap because it's not but once you get the hang of it it's really not that bad. Even running the register in the Cafe is not so bad once you memorize the menus.
Which brings us to my hangup....
Drink orders.
Finding your drink in the register menu system, not so bad, writing the effing thing on the cup so the person making it knows what the hell it is....not so easy.
My new motto is...'If all else fails, just write the whole thing out."
So people, if you've been to my B&N lately you'll know you got me at the register because your drink order will begin with your name at the top of the cup and spiral around the side in a very festive swirl.
Hey! At least you got what you ordered.
Monday, November 8, 2010
This has plagued my mind for two days.
I'm not a big fan of Day Light Savings time. Frankly, it's just another opportunity for something to get messed up within my schedule.
So as I'm stumbling through the kitchen to get a drink before I let the ungrateful dog out at 4:45am, yeah you read that right, Sunday morning I pull out the 2 liter bottle of seltzer from the fridge and have an epiphany.
Why are carbonated beverages measured in liters and not gallons?
Seriously, at 4:45am I had this thought. Mostly, I was thinking that we drink about 12 gallons of seltzer every week and then it occured to me that it really wasn't gallons at all.
I can totally be profound. I know.
So, any thoughts? I could probably just google the answer but then what would we have to talk about today.
Why are carbonated beverages measured in liters and not gallons?
Seriously, at 4:45am I had this thought. Mostly, I was thinking that we drink about 12 gallons of seltzer every week and then it occured to me that it really wasn't gallons at all.
I can totally be profound. I know.
So, any thoughts? I could probably just google the answer but then what would we have to talk about today.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Simple Truths
1) Generic is fine except for: Ketchup - Heinz and Cotton Swabs - Q-Tips.
2) Toilet paper should go on the roll facing OVER.
3) Mean people suck.
4) Christmas decorations should not be in stores before Halloween.
5) Texting while driving is just stupid.
6) Comments do not make the world go round. (Although they're nice.)
7) Blogs should have readers NOT followers.
2) Toilet paper should go on the roll facing OVER.
3) Mean people suck.
4) Christmas decorations should not be in stores before Halloween.
5) Texting while driving is just stupid.
6) Comments do not make the world go round. (Although they're nice.)
7) Blogs should have readers NOT followers.
Monday, November 1, 2010
I can still be surprised
Halloween has come and gone and I have to say that last night I was a bit surprised. It's been a few years since we've lived any place that would have more than 2 trick-or-treaters, you don't see too many kids hoofin' it up two flights of stairs when you live in the city. Even if there is candy at the other end.
So now that we live in suburbialand the BF picked up two huge bags of candy in preparation for last night's onslaught of kids. I'd say we had between 40-60 kids come to our door. These were a few of my favorites:
We told each child to take three pieces, they were small after all, and frankly the candy looks better on them than on me.
Gangster: I'm takin' 3 Reeses. My sister loves them. She'll totally trade me. Now that's planning.
Freddy: Can I take an Almond Joy for my dad? He loves them. Aaawwweee.
Ladybug: Dots. I love Dots. Can I have 3 Dots?
Toddler - Elephant (so cute I might add): silence - while taking 1 cherry Tootsie roll. I had to laugh, this must be her first Halloween, she'll get the hang of it next year.
Group of 30 - yes THIRTY - teenagers led by Indiana Jones and a two-wheel dolly.
The first thing I thought was, crap I know I don't have enough candy for this bunch but when the BF went to the door they said thank you but they didn't want any candy.
They were collecting non-perishable food items for the local food pantry. Did we have anything we could spare?
Seriously?
I gave them two cans of soup and totally had my faith renewed in the teenage population.
So now that we live in suburbialand the BF picked up two huge bags of candy in preparation for last night's onslaught of kids. I'd say we had between 40-60 kids come to our door. These were a few of my favorites:
We told each child to take three pieces, they were small after all, and frankly the candy looks better on them than on me.
Gangster: I'm takin' 3 Reeses. My sister loves them. She'll totally trade me. Now that's planning.
Freddy: Can I take an Almond Joy for my dad? He loves them. Aaawwweee.
Ladybug: Dots. I love Dots. Can I have 3 Dots?
Toddler - Elephant (so cute I might add): silence - while taking 1 cherry Tootsie roll. I had to laugh, this must be her first Halloween, she'll get the hang of it next year.
Group of 30 - yes THIRTY - teenagers led by Indiana Jones and a two-wheel dolly.
The first thing I thought was, crap I know I don't have enough candy for this bunch but when the BF went to the door they said thank you but they didn't want any candy.
They were collecting non-perishable food items for the local food pantry. Did we have anything we could spare?
Seriously?
I gave them two cans of soup and totally had my faith renewed in the teenage population.
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