Upon watching the latest Santa documentary entitled Prep and Landing I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate you on a job well done. That being said I have a few requests this year that I think should be addressed by you.
Number 1: Since this is the first year EVER, in 13 years, that the Kid has been able to hang a stocking over a fireplace please make sure to fill it extra full. Kay? Okay.
Number 2: The tree is losing it's needles. If there must be reconnaissance in the living room do so gently. We'd like to not wake up to a bald tree.
Number 3: I don't bake and if you could find milk in my fridge I wouldn't advise drinking it. Instead Santa's welcome to some of the leftover chili and a Killian's, I'll leave a note on the container in the fridge so he knows which one it is.
Number 4: Creatures Stirring. Yeah, well, we have a dog but he can be bribed with a jar of peanut butter. So come prepared.
Number 5: The previous owners installed a satellite dish on the roof. You may want to take that into consideration before attempting to land anything larger than a jingle bell. I've seen the size of those reindeer and dainty isn't a word I'd use to describe them. I'm just sayin'.
Number 6: The Kid is notorious for not wanting anything for Christmas. Personally I think this is a game of 'Can You Read My Mind', but you're the experts, so if that present gizmo comes up with a rocket launcher as a possible suggestion please disregard. I'm sure you'll come up with something appropriate.
Thanks in advance. Have a Jingly Christmas.
The Kid's Mom